2009 reflection...

Have you ever question about your decisions? ever thought that did I make the right choice back then? It's the end of 2009, and I have to say...this was a peaceful year for me...nothing majorly changed, I am still a hardworking student in school, and vet school is my life...

But lately, I guess because it is the end of year, and everyone got to reflect on themselves...or I just got too much free time to myself and that gets me thinking...I thought what if the Dean's office never made to waitlist #12 two years ago, and I never get into vet school on the first try...would I still persist and apply the 2nd time?

Life would be completely different now if I never made to vet school...Would I be happier now? would I be on my way to earning an MBA and aiming to become a world best CEO's assistant? Would I have a totally different life? Would I be satisfied? There are so many "Would I" questions that could make a difference.

I never talked about my dreams in life on here. I am not afraid people would laugh at it, I don't remember since how old, I want to be a personal assistant, or secretary of some sort. Not the ones who just answer phones, but the ones who can actually making executive decisions...I was never able to find the correct word for it, either in Chinese or English...I have tried to tell people that I want to become a "secretary", most people say that I don't even need a college degree to fulfill that. My dad would laugh at me and keep mentioning "Secretary of State" is also a secretary...I was never interested in political world, he should know better, or he might just not want to face that fact that he spent thousands of dollars on me, getting me to a different country, pays for my education, and all I want to return to him is to become a little secretary. By all means, I respect all the secretaries out there working hard for their bosses...but what I dream about is not only simply taking phone calls and arrange schedules (though I would be very confident to say that I am pretty good at that :D). I think at the moment, an "assistant" would be more appropriately describe what I want to become.

Friends laugh at me, asking why would I ever want to work for someone else for the rest of my life. I don't know...I feel much more comfortable that way. I mean I do want to take responsible for my own action, but with some backup. I know since I was little that I am better fitted working behind the scenes...If I am an entertainment agent, I would be super happy to see my movie star standing on the stage getting an award, because deeply I know, I contribute to that, I made that happen. I don't want the whole world to recognize my work, may be only the people I care know, that's good enough for me. I would let other people to take the glory, as long as someone important knows that I was a vital part of that glory, I would be happy.

During vet school interview, they asked me if I don't make to vet school, if I have other plans...I told them I would like to try a wedding planner. I mean, their works are so joyful~ seeing couples get together...planning for their best day ever, stressful but rewarding. I have been part of a wedding twice now, and I fully enjoy the wedding day (as long as I am not the bride I think)...I thought if I am young enough, I would really like the job. Reminds me of the movie "27 dresses"...27 of course is not my goal, because in China, rumor said being part of the wedding is like going through a wedding yourself, and there's a 3 strike rule...attending 3 weddings as bridesmaid, you will find yourself not getting married...superstition...we will see...because I guarantee I am going to be part of a friend's wedding in the future (if she get married soon)...then I will fulfill my quota...but I don't care~ it's a fun experience to plan a wedding (as long as it's not mine). :D

Enough of rubbish, right now the plan is still stick with the original one. I like what I am learning right now, and "giving up" is not in my dictionary ;p