2009 reflection...

Have you ever question about your decisions? ever thought that did I make the right choice back then? It's the end of 2009, and I have to say...this was a peaceful year for me...nothing majorly changed, I am still a hardworking student in school, and vet school is my life...

But lately, I guess because it is the end of year, and everyone got to reflect on themselves...or I just got too much free time to myself and that gets me thinking...I thought what if the Dean's office never made to waitlist #12 two years ago, and I never get into vet school on the first try...would I still persist and apply the 2nd time?

Life would be completely different now if I never made to vet school...Would I be happier now? would I be on my way to earning an MBA and aiming to become a world best CEO's assistant? Would I have a totally different life? Would I be satisfied? There are so many "Would I" questions that could make a difference.

I never talked about my dreams in life on here. I am not afraid people would laugh at it, I don't remember since how old, I want to be a personal assistant, or secretary of some sort. Not the ones who just answer phones, but the ones who can actually making executive decisions...I was never able to find the correct word for it, either in Chinese or English...I have tried to tell people that I want to become a "secretary", most people say that I don't even need a college degree to fulfill that. My dad would laugh at me and keep mentioning "Secretary of State" is also a secretary...I was never interested in political world, he should know better, or he might just not want to face that fact that he spent thousands of dollars on me, getting me to a different country, pays for my education, and all I want to return to him is to become a little secretary. By all means, I respect all the secretaries out there working hard for their bosses...but what I dream about is not only simply taking phone calls and arrange schedules (though I would be very confident to say that I am pretty good at that :D). I think at the moment, an "assistant" would be more appropriately describe what I want to become.

Friends laugh at me, asking why would I ever want to work for someone else for the rest of my life. I don't know...I feel much more comfortable that way. I mean I do want to take responsible for my own action, but with some backup. I know since I was little that I am better fitted working behind the scenes...If I am an entertainment agent, I would be super happy to see my movie star standing on the stage getting an award, because deeply I know, I contribute to that, I made that happen. I don't want the whole world to recognize my work, may be only the people I care know, that's good enough for me. I would let other people to take the glory, as long as someone important knows that I was a vital part of that glory, I would be happy.

During vet school interview, they asked me if I don't make to vet school, if I have other plans...I told them I would like to try a wedding planner. I mean, their works are so joyful~ seeing couples get together...planning for their best day ever, stressful but rewarding. I have been part of a wedding twice now, and I fully enjoy the wedding day (as long as I am not the bride I think)...I thought if I am young enough, I would really like the job. Reminds me of the movie "27 dresses"...27 of course is not my goal, because in China, rumor said being part of the wedding is like going through a wedding yourself, and there's a 3 strike rule...attending 3 weddings as bridesmaid, you will find yourself not getting married...superstition...we will see...because I guarantee I am going to be part of a friend's wedding in the future (if she get married soon)...then I will fulfill my quota...but I don't care~ it's a fun experience to plan a wedding (as long as it's not mine). :D

Enough of rubbish, right now the plan is still stick with the original one. I like what I am learning right now, and "giving up" is not in my dictionary ;p

I am alive!

yes, I am alive and well! After a semester of battling with pharmacology, parasitolgy, pathology and nutrition, I think I deserve a well rested Chirstmas break.

I thought that I was gonna die before the finals started a week ago. And it turns out...I am still alive and breathing the fresh air coming through the window. Sometimes it's easy to say the word "die", and I have been saying it so many times since I started vet school, so I start to forget that I used to fear death, when I was 13. The thought of not knowing what is going to happen after wards, not knowing what new movies are coming out...not knowing what kind of fun my friends are gonna have...the fear of unknowns...

During our finals, one of our classmate's Fiancé passed away unexpectedly. So unexpect that I have to call my other classmate to confirm that it wasn't a practical joke, or a mistake of some kind...I am still in the shock stage of receiving the news, because this person actually sat next to me every other day (because he is a grad student, and taking one same class with us)...Now think hard, he is no longer with us, just like ... "poof"...disappeared...Life is strange, one minute you are talking to them and the next thing you heard is that he is no longer in your world...I think because we are so young, we never thought the "true death" is
this close. Beside the pass away of my grandparents, this is the 2nd time that someone I really know has gone. The other one is my boss from undergrad. She moved to another state and later on was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer metastisized to Brain, or vice versa...I found her news through a blog that put up by her beloved husband...

Sigh...I am not good at express myself, which is why I started this blog. But I can't really say anything on this matter any more. I am going to his funeral tomorrow, and I hope the best for his finance-my classmate. She is one tough woman. she decide to come back to school after the break, which, lots of people applause for that...I personally don't have a extensive relationship with another men, so I don't understand the toughness to overcome a death of the love ones...But I hope the best for her, and I firmly believe that my whole class and faculty and staff will stand behind her to support her morally.

I hate to end today's entry with such a depressing mood, but I think Daniel deserve a good ending, R.I.P.-Daniel Resnick

BTHO t.u.! 10 years anniversary of Bonfire collapsed..

It's 9:22p right now on 11/26/2009, 10 years after the bonfire collapsed, and the Aggie vs. t.u. game is currently been broadcast on ESPN (at this moment). I am at work (unfortunately), but could listen to the game live on the radio, and they kept mentioning about a new production by the 12th man foundation called "the burning desire"-talking about the bonfire tragedy 10 years ago and also including part of the University of Texas Band perfomance. The Aggies really appreciate the other team's tribute during half time, and I think it was exactly 10 years ago (11/26/1999). Wow...it has been ten years now...I never personally experience the real bonfire on campus, but I clearly remembered that this news actually made on to Chinese Newspaper, and I paid particular attention to it because it is a Texas School. Back then, I never thought I would end up in this school, be part of the tradition, and continue my professional school here... It has been 10 years? WOW...

But I never regret my decision, and I think though we laugh at the T-sippers, but there's no-body like them that we can rely on in the big Texas. Thank you, Texas! (it's hard not to call you t.u. :p)

Never felt sleeping can be such a sweet thing...

This past two weeks has been pretty tough on me, I think I am hitting the mid-semester depression. After going through another semester without a break kind of put you into that situation. It looks like everyone around me is going through the same thing though. I know I should not compare myself to other people because that always put me in a bad mood, I am never as good as my classmates/friends/other people! But you just can't help to do it...every time when I feel so defeated by the exam, I would hear other people comments such as "that wasn't too bad", or when I accidentally hear them checking their answers, and find out that I missed the "easy questions", would you feel defeated? This Wed I had a pathology test, and I have been doing fine in that class-the only class that I could possibly end up with an A. But I think I might just lose it this week. But there's no-body to be blamed on, because I put off the study until couple days before the test. I can't help to be a procrastinator because I just can’t find the motivation to sit down and study…so very hard to focus, and this has been a problem since I started vet school…I am jealous at those hard core people who can sit and study for 10 hours without moving and be productive. Again, I am comparing myself to a separate identity, very stupid move.

Anyway, so because there’re so much information covered on this Path exam, I end up taking little naps on Wed morning, and my last nap was after 6a til 7a… I kept snoozing because…just because :p (you know when you are so sleep deprived you miss everything)…every time I go back to sleep I never felt so happy! Even just for 5 min, I felt so satisfy and fortunate that I can sleep 5 more min! It’s a sense of gratitude, and I bet my GABA (a neurotransmitter that makes you feel happy) is probably releasing from the neuro junction like no-body’s business :D…but I actually was smiling after each snooze. Such a strange feeling.

Needless to say, I could do better on this exam because I really enjoy the class (some portion could have taught better though). But life is tough, and I have been complaining too much lately, I don’t feel like myself again. Think back to the hard corps days, I was proud to be a tough women…now I feel like I kept riding the “whinbulance” . Too weak.

At the end of the day, I was able to take a 2 hour nap after school. Again, never felt so satisfied at the end of the sleep. Now, I am re-adjusting my sleeping schedule (it has been pretty messy since last week, intermittent naps at 2am…), but that sense of happiness seems to gone to its happy place.

This is TOTALLY MY FAV right now, so true!


Totally a reality...depicts my mental battle between sleeping vs. eating

An appreciative day, an emotional day, all these good things happen at same time

Sitting in the computer lab before class right now, and I feel that the reason I can sit here is because so many people have helped me alone the way. I am not a christian, but I like some of the concepts that I read from the Bible (mainly doing the right thing, and helping people), so my friends call me a "buddistian". Today, I feel that it's an amazing journey thus far, and I want to thank you whoever is up there put me at this place with these many amazing people around me.

I want to thank Nikki, with all your support alone the way, every time I ask, you always provide your honest opnion, and take on the task just as one of your own. I truly feel that you are a friend for life. You are always there supporting me, no matter how bizzard my opinion was :p It is a sad news that you are leaving soon (well, not for another 10 mon), but I am still trying to digest the fact that you won't be at the end of the road when I call. I guess party always has to end, but I better make the next 10 mon. as memoriable as it can be and spend tons of time with you!

Then I want to thanks Dr. Posey, everytime I talk to this man, he makes me want to cry: he always encourage me, no matter what kind of peculiar goal I have. He is a confident booster! I thought I would never find any professor here in Texas vet school who would understand me. He is a sensitive man, and appreciate my background and my hardness to go through school, appreciate my hardworking ethic, and ... just being purily supportive. Even though he probably will say the same thing to many students who came across his office, I feel that every time he says it to me, he means it. So...kudos for Dr. Posey~

One last person I want to thank today (because I am running out of time here) is Dr. Ashley. He is the reason that I think there must be someone up there watching me, and protect me. There's always an reason why you end up where you at, and I think the best thing ever happen to me is to meet Dr. Ashley here at vet school. His passion for China and veterinary medicine guide me through my tough times first year, and for the first time, I didn't think becoming a horse vet in China is a ridiculous idea. But I am still a buddistian :p

this is the first time, 5 of my buddies have sent out update at approximately the same time. Couple of them are first senders! I have had a hard time to ask them sending out updates since last we met (June 2008)...I think it is going to the right direction, and I would love to stay in touch with these buddies who went through the hardship of the Corps with me for 4 years. Friendship is priceless.

5 minutes ago, I received the news that I just got another scholarship from the Houston Aggie Mom's club! It's kinda of surprised that they still sending out award this late into the semester. But hey, I am not complaining.

all these good things happen at same time, I am kind of afraid it is not real, and too many good things happen at the same time, which means next week's exams are going to kill me...because all the good things already happened this week.

Stay healthy...ya'll

Sorry that I wasn't able to update my blog lately...got quiet busy with school work...you know how it goes: school starts, exams starts, endless studying, and too stressed to do anything fun. But just want to remind everyone flu season is RIGHT NOW...and even for healthy person like me caught a little cold from my lovely classmates...got a running fever of 101 for couple days, and slept quiet a lot last weekend. Picture is not me...though is one of my fav taiwan drama star - D.T. one of many :p

Everything is all good now, but next week got 3 mid-term exams coming up...just by thinking about it stresses me out~~~ I just physically don't have enough time to read everything for each class...AAAaaAAAHHHHHHH~~~

Make friends with your hand sanitizer. Wish me luck on the exams (Pathology, Nutrition-which is actually gonna be hard cuz I didn't pay much attention throughout the whole semester...and Parasitology...hmmm worms...)

Favorite Youtube videos

Let the collection begin~~~~

Canine Freestyle, got to love the intellengence of border collies...

Maybe K-nut can learn some of the tricks...hmmmm :D





I have seen this twice now in my class, vet professors love the border collies and LED lights ;p

Extreme Sheep Herding...I kid your not, they are too bored...